Mind

Be Inspired Mind

Don’t be the lady in waiting

Why and what are we waiting for?

Back in the days, under a monarchy, there were the ladies in waiting. Waiting for the Queen to decide their every move. There to please and serve. Not quite a servant, not a noble. Just there, waiting in between. Forever in limbo.

Today Queens are more symbolic than anything, but we find other things to rule over us. Don’t we all still just wait for something?

Whether it is for the end of the day, for lunch time, for happy hour, for the weekend or for the next vacation.

But what about the time in between? Is it completely lost and worthless to us? Are we in limbo?

Such a waste. All those hours, days, weeks. Like going on a road trip and only getting out of the car at the end destionation. Missing out on all the fun that could have been on the way.

By constantly trying to look over the top of the hill we stumble on our own feet. Look around you, take it all in, that is your best way to prepare for what is coming next.

“What day is it?”
It’s today,” squeaked Piglet.
My favorite day,” said Pooh.”

Every time you find yourself longing for something that will come, try to focus on something that is now. Your breath, the way your body feels, the sounds around you, the air on your face, the taste on your tongue. Immerse into them. Remember that what you feel and hear now will soon be gone and that you are now shaping the future you are so badly waiting for.
Don’t wait. Be.


By: Morgane Oléron 

 

Be Inspired Mind

The attitude of gratitude

Life consists of setting goals and constantly pursuing them. Sometimes we think that the more we try the lesser goals we achieve, and because of that, we can become increasingly frustrated.

If dissatisfaction, frustration and craving for something we don’t have become part of our everyday life then we have a problem that requires an urgent solution. Then we need to stop, look around and ask ourselves: What is all the good we have in our lives? What have we achieved so far?

Each and every one of us will, if honestly answering these questions, find so many reasons for happiness and joy. Each one of us will, if thinking of all the good things we have already achieved, notice that life has already given us so much.

If we start every day with expressing gratitude to what we have, our lives will become more fulfilled and beautiful, we will be more and more aware of all the good things in ourselves and around us.

Being grateful doesn’t mean being modest, unambitious and passive.

It is just an expression of respect for what we already have and what brings us peace, satisfaction and meaning. Being grateful doesn’t mean giving up on our goals, but striving towards them while enjoying everything that we have already achieved so far.

Only satisfied and focused on positivity can we be motivated for new victories, while a constant focus on what we don’t have only lead to a life with chronic frustration and dissatisfaction. It’s up to us to decide which one of these two ways we will go.


By: Sonja Josipovic

Be Inspired Mind

An open letter to Self Doubt

Dear Self Doubt. We’ve been spending nearly 25 years side by side and together we’ve been through a lot. I’m grateful for all the times that you’ve been there for me and never left my side, but lately I’ve been feeling like it’s not working out between us anymore.

I don’t understand why you keep complaining when I’m telling you to shut up. All you ever talk about is how useless I am and how I’ll never succeed with anything in life. I used to believe you, but I’ve come to realise that the problem is not me – it’s you. If you weren’t there all the time with your negative, repetitive chatter, I’d already be bathing in success and self acceptance.

It’s time we face reality – we’ve grown apart. Our views on life have become extremely different.

I’ve decided to spend more time with Self Belief instead. Amongst many things, we’re planning adventures, art projects, chilling out and to continue the exploration of love and relationships.

I simply neither have the time, nor the desire to hang out with you anymore. I wish you all the best and hereby set you free. I understand we might bump into each other again, but in that case I’d like to keep it at a smalltalk level. I hope you take some time to think through your actions and your whole existence, now that you’ll have a lot more time for yourself.

Thank you for the time we had,
Amalia

An unexpected response

Alright, Amalia, I get it. It’s time for us both to be more clear about how we want our friendship to develop. I forgive you for trying to dump me and you don’t need to say thank you for me staying and saving your life.

I feel like I’ve been misunderstood by you. I’ve been trying to get your attention for years but you’ve simply pushed me away without listening to what I have to say. You have no idea how much work it’s taken me to get you to finally listen to me!

First of all: Please, stop calling me Self Doubt. I don’t know where you got that name from but my real name is Fear. Remember that time in Australia when you saw a deadly snake and ran away from it? Yeah that was me saving your life. Or that other time when we were hiking and you were standing way too close to a cliff? Yeah. You’re welcome.

I think you get it: It’s my job to keep you alive! I calculate risks and talk about them, and I’ll keep going until we both get old and grey, so deal with it.

Secondly: Self-acceptance is not about denying or ignoring parts of yourself that you don’t like. It’s about making friends with them. Also, everyone fears in life. It’s not like the people you find “successful” are completely fearless. (Whatever the heck “success” means to you anyway?) They’ve just managed to build a beautiful, trustful relationship with their own Fear.

You’ve been extremely boring lately – you haven’t done much that is new or exciting. As a result, I’ve had to calculate risks of things that normally wouldn’t be a threat. Don’t blame me for being repetitive! That’s just a result of your boringness.

I think it’s a great idea that you hang out with Self Belief. Finally! We might actually get some action going again!! Don’t mind me – I’ll stick around and make sure you’re both safe. Trust me, when there’s real danger facing us you’ll know I’m serious.

I’ll be here for you whenever you need my advice.

Love you,
Fear


By: Amalia Wahlström/Repost of original post at ohyeahbyamalia.com

Be Inspired Mind

Pour yourself a drink, put on some lipstick, and pull yourself together

That is what Elisabeth Taylor used to say. So you keep yourself busy, take on projects, say yes to social gatherings and try to balance it all with a smile on your face. But you never slow down.

Even when people around you are warning you, telling you to take care of yourself. You just put on some more lipstick and keep going.

Until you can´t anymore.

And that is usually the wake-up call we need. What a shame we must go so far down the well to only then be able to pull ourselves back up. To give up on the drinks, remove the lipstick, and stop trying to pull ourselves together… To admit it’s ok to let go, go home, go to bed…do nothing.

But when we do, it will bring back strength, it will bring back sanity and eventually, inspiration.

Keep in mind that sometimes the only thing you need on your “to-do-list” is: Take care of myself. And if you are not going to listen to others, at least listen to your body.


By: Mo Oléron

Be Inspired Mind

Embrace yourself wholeheartedly

Emotional baggage; we all got it and kind off hate it. Sandra Aggemo on the other hand sees it as a gift and embraces it wholeheartedly. Why? Because she believes that is what makes a person unique.
By: Henriette Danielsen

I met Sandra for the first-time years ago in a small town in Sweden where she was studying Business and Finance. When our paths crossed again a few years later in Stockholm, she had quit her job to pursue her dream of working as a fulltime Life Coach. This awoke my curiosity!

Her whole adult life Sandra has been running from the feeling of not being good enough, even though everyone around her always spoke so highly of her.
– People have always said that I should be happy and proud; “You are such a talent, you have this and that… You have good education, good job, friends”. I could hear them, but I really couldn’t feel what they told me to feel. It was like something was missing, she explains.

Nevertheless, she is thankful for this, because it led her into areas like KBT and ACT (cognitive- behavioral therapy); reading all kinds of books, meeting therapists, doing yoga and meditation, talking to friends about it and finally, finding her path in life and become a certified Life Coach.

– I wanted to use all my emotional baggage to better understand me and my surroundings. To be a Life Coach, for me, is an approach to life itself; curiosity, openness, warm meetings and vulnerability.

But what does a Life Coach do exactly?
– A Life Coach will help you dig underneath the thoughts and feelings of “what if’s”, help you realize what’s important to you and explore those inner voices. Which one is the terrified and playing-it-safe inner-critic and which one is your bedazzling inner intuitive voice? As a coach, I help you clarify and sort it all out. During the coaching-session you are encouraged to find your own answers, your own truth. I have the questions, you have the answers. As a Life Coach, I act as an objective warm hearted friend, support, encourage and challenge you.

Sandra has always loved that spark in someone else’s eye when they realize something about themselves or their life that can help them overcome their fear and find their path.
– I have always wondered what people run from. We are in such a high pace all the time. Why? It’s like we need to finish a race, but the finish line is being moved forward all the time. We sweat and forget to recharge at the water station. One of my answers are that we are running from ourselves, our longings, our feelings.

As a Life Coach, I have the magical opportunity to meet people at the “water station” and help them recharge and/or change direction.

Sitting opposite to Sandra I sense a certain calm aura over her, but at the same time she feels playful and adventurous. She has that look in her eye!
– People often find me both humorous and deep. I truly believe that the most serious things could include laughter and the funniest things could include tears. In my company, you are very welcome to both cry and laugh, she says.

Having built up a client base both in Stockholm and other parts of the country, Sandra sees a recurring topic in her sessions.
– Many of my clients feel stuck, lost or scared of doing what they truly dream of doing. Some have high expectations on themselves and the people around them which causes a lot of disappointment and stress. Some are struggling to understand who they are or just how to be themselves. Some say they have low self-esteem. Some say they don’t know what they like to do anymore. And some clients are extremely happy and just keen on exploring themselves, she explains.

While I listen to her I nod my head, I can indeed relate to more than one of those topics. Which makes me wonder, how do we become happy?
– I believe that the way we today constantly strive for happiness and pursuing our dream is more a happiness trap than anything else. And I have been there myself, always seeking for that good feeling trying to erase the “bad feelings”, striving for that next goal that should fulfil my life.

– I’ve realized that it’s not about seeking happiness or achieving goals, it’s about finding a peaceful way of living. It’s about understanding that we are in constant change and so are our feelings. Happiness it’s not static – a goal does not last forever. I see it as highly important to understand that humans have all sorts of feelings and accept that. A life in joy is not a life without tears, fear or uncertainty – it’s the opposite, she explains.

Before we part ways, we hug goodbye. The last Sandra says to me before she leaves is:
– Maybe happiness is the same thing as self-acceptance, being in contact with the real you and not trying to change everything. Because there is nothing as beautiful as a person being in contact with themselves, without a facade and lots of filters.


Name: Sandra Aggemo
Age: 28
Lives: Enskede, Sweden
One thing that makes me smile: People dancing – being captured in the power of now and the music.

If you want to learn more about Sandra Aggemo and her services you can check out her website and follow her Instagram account.

Be Inspired Mind

Letter to myself

Dear myself, when everything you know crumbles, and falls apart. When you think this is the end, that you will not survive this because you just don’t know how, one thing will happen: you will survive.

Because whether you like it or not, whether you want to hear it or not (and trust me, I don’t) life will go on. You will put one foot in front of the other. Maybe you will stumble at first, but you will move forward. Even if it is at such a slow pace that it’s not visible to the naked eye. Because it’s not a choice. It does not matter how evolved we have convinced ourselves we were, we are animals and for thousands of years it has been fixed in our genes that we need to keep on going, find food, shelter and survive.

Don’t get me wrong. You won’t be happy. It will be tough and you will maybe even wonder what the point of all this is. I cannot believe I am quoting that movie but hear me out. In “Sex Tape” with Cameron Diaz and Jason Segel, Segel drives his kids to school and his young daughter in the back seat out of nowhere drops some pretty amazing insight: “Why do we keep having all these days and then going to bed at night and then having all these days and then going to bed at night?” Segel answers: “That’s sort of what life is” And her to respond: “But when will it end?” That is a pretty good sum up of how you feel right now. Which is crazy because three or four months back you felt you had your whole life figured out, a purpose, a goal, a raison d’être. You had your struggles, but everything was under control.

You like to think everything happens for a reason, but right now, you wonder what that reason might be!

Today you are not happy. But you put one foot in front of the other, and maybe you will take two steps back tonight when it gets dark and the aftershock of the heart quake that your life suffered will keep coming as you replay everything in your head and in your heart. But as sure as the sun will come up, you will too. And you will eventually find a purpose again, and maybe your hopes and dreams will be fulfilled. Or maybe you need new hopes and dreams, or maybe you just need to change your perspective.

There is only one way to find out: It’s to keep having all those days and going to bed at night.


By: Mo Oléron

Be Inspired Mind

15 motivational quotes to get you through the tough days

We all have those days where it just feels impossible to get anything done.

When you’re feeling low, unmotivated or discouraged, come back to these quotes to inspire you to look forward and get back to working.

I was always looking outside myself for strength and confidence but it comes from within. It was there all the time.
– Anna Freud

Take the first step in faith. You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.
– Martin Luther King Jr.

Success is not permanent, and failure is not fatal.
– Mike Ditka

It’s difficult to follow your dreams, but it’s a tragedy not to.
– Unknown

Raise your words, not your voice. It’s rain that grows flowers, not thunder.
– Unknown

Draw a map, find a path, take a breath, and run!
– Unknown

By being yourself, you put something wonderful into the world that was not there before.
– Edwin Elliott

Things turn out best for people who make the best of the way things turn out.
– John Wooden

It’s hard to fail, but it is worse to never have tried to succeed.
– Theodore Roosevelt

You must expect great things of yourself before you can do them.
– Michael Jordan

The ones who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones that do.
– Anonymous

Don’t be afraid to give up the good to go for the great.
– John D. Rockefeller

We become what we think about most of the time, and that’s the strangest secret.
– Earl Nightingale

The road to success and the road to failure are almost exactly the same.
– Colin R. Davis

You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something – your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.
– Steve Jobs

Have a favorite motivational quote that you don’t see here? Let us know in the comments below what quote helps you get through the tough days.


By: Samantha Thayer

Be Inspired Mind

Irrational fears: when lucky charms turn into OCD

When irrational fears take over your sanity. Welcome to my world. 

I have always feared flying. While writing this I am sitting on a plane to Paris so obviously, the fear never stopped me from traveling, but it´s still always there. Somehow, I convinced myself that to survive a flight I have to follow a set of rituals involving a necklace I always have on, touching the plane from the outside as we board, and, probably the most time consuming and socially awkward when traveling with people, counting in my head from take off until the seatbelt sign is off.  If anyone from a mental institution is reading this, they are probably on their way to get me right now with a giant butterfly net. (Well I’ll be in Paris!).

I can’t really explain where these rituals come from, but they are there. They have been there for as long as I can remember and clearly, it has always “worked”. And spare me the whole “planes are safer than cars” speech, I’ve heard it many times before. I have also noticed that the bigger the plane the more scared I am, which makes absolutely no sense. Ok, I was terrified and praying for my life in the 10 seats Tara Air flight from Lukla to Kathmandu, but in my defence it’s the most dangerous airline in the world, I am pretty sure everyone peed their trekking pants. But in general, the bigger the plane, the more worried I am.

I am also afraid of very large cruise ships coming into port. Don’t even ask me why and how. I have no problem getting on them, but seeing them from afar makes me very uncomfortable. Then there is the whole hypochondriac issue when each little pain is Googled, each mosquito bite is dengue fever or malaria while traveling in Asia, each little cut can turn into gangrene and each headache into brain tumour.

How do I get anything done you ask? It’s a constant inner struggle between this part of me who’s afraid of everything and the part of me who’s rationalising and relying to facts and common sense. It´s the second part that wants to be able to explore, discover and try new things and thank God, it´s most of the time the part of me that wins, even though the fear is always there lurking in the shadows.

However, lately I started to get tired of this constant struggle between rational and irrational thoughts. I want to be stronger than this. Because I am a sane (yes yes) 31-year-old who is in control of her life (mostly) and because fear does not prevent danger from happening.

Today I did not count during take-off and until the seatbelt sign was switched off. And since you can read this, I made it there alive! First step towards OCD freedom.


By: Morgane Oléron

Be Inspired Mind

I changed the rules

For years, I’ve been living by the rules. Or what I thought were the rules. Turns out I was interpreting them all wrong.

Be nice: let others walk all over you.
Be respectful: do not utter your own opinion.
Be humble: stay within your comfort zone.
Be polite: do not stand up for yourself and constantly apologize.

Let’s say I have built up a fair amount of frustration over the years, until I realized what a waste of time and energy it was trying to please everyone. But it’s one thing to recognize it, and admit it. It´s a whole different thing to actually act on it. You can repeat to yourself that life is short, you can buy postcards with empowering quotes, but when you find yourself facing challenging situations, habits die hard.

When I turned 30 I told myself (I even wrote it down) that this year would be the one I do what makes me truly happy. 6+ months in the year it’s time for a check-up:

While my changes are neither “drastic” nor spectacular, I am proud. I stood up for myself on several occasions. In my own way, but I did. What I am probably most proud of however, is getting out of my comfort zone. I gathered the courage to tell people I liked what they were doing/wearing/standing for. I reached out to them and told them I felt the same way and that I had dreams and skills in spades. I shut up the little voice in my head saying “who do you think you are? Why would people care? You really think one else thought of that before you?!”.

And what happened? People reached back. People wanted to meet and brainstorm. In six months, I made more new friends and interesting contacts than I had in years, people who took me to where I am today.  And the best part: it brought me to the beautiful adventure that Best of You is.

My rules haven’t changed, but they now have a whole new meaning:
Be nice: take care of yourself to be able to care for others.
Be respectful: always hear others out before letting them hear your voice.
Be humble: share successes, admit and learn from failures.
Be polite: never stop smiling.

Habits die hard. Key word being: die. Like everything else in life, with practice come progress.


By: Morgane Oleron

General Mind

The fear, the addiction and the letting go

We fear, we are addicted and eventually we let go.

We fear other’s scrutinizing looks and we fear failure.
We are addicted to things that slow us down and disperse our energy and focus. We are addicted to people’s opinions and social recognition.
We are letting go of hopes and dreams because we convince ourselves, or let others convince us ,that we are not good enough.

When…

What we really should fear is to not to act. To not try and to stay put; until it is too late. If your fear is too strong, remember what Will Smith’s character says in After Earth: “Fear is not real. The only place that fear can exist is in our thoughts of the future. It is a product of our imagination, causing us to fear things that do not at present and may not ever exist. That is near insanity. Do not misunderstand me danger is very real but fear is a choice”.

What we really should be addicted to is to make ourselves happy and healthy. We should focus on ourselves and be chasing our own hero, just like Matthew McConaughey says it in his acceptance speech for his Oscar for Dallas Buyers Club“When I was 15 years old, I had a very important person in my life come to me and say, “Who’s your hero?” And I said, “I don’t know, I’ve got to think about that. Give me a couple of weeks.” I come back two weeks later, this person comes up and says, “Who’s your hero?” I said, “I thought about it. It’s me in 10 years.” So I turned 25. Ten years later, that same person comes to me and says, “So, are you a hero?” And I was like, “Not even close! No, no no!” She said, “Why?” I said, “Because my hero’s me at 35.” So you see every day, every week, every month and every year of my life, my hero’s always 10 years away. I’m never gonna be my hero. I’m not gonna attain that. I know I’m not, and that’s just fine with me because that keeps me with somebody to keep on chasing”

What we really should be letting go of is the negativity. Just as David Lynch puts it: “Negativity is the enemy of creativity”.


By: Morgane Oleron /Photo cred