Emotional baggage; we all got it and kind off hate it. Sandra Aggemo on the other hand sees it as a gift and embraces it wholeheartedly. Why? Because she believes that is what makes a person unique.
By: Henriette Danielsen
I met Sandra for the first-time years ago in a small town in Sweden where she was studying Business and Finance. When our paths crossed again a few years later in Stockholm, she had quit her job to pursue her dream of working as a fulltime Life Coach. This awoke my curiosity!
Her whole adult life Sandra has been running from the feeling of not being good enough, even though everyone around her always spoke so highly of her.
– People have always said that I should be happy and proud; “You are such a talent, you have this and that… You have good education, good job, friends”. I could hear them, but I really couldn’t feel what they told me to feel. It was like something was missing, she explains.
Nevertheless, she is thankful for this, because it led her into areas like KBT and ACT (cognitive- behavioral therapy); reading all kinds of books, meeting therapists, doing yoga and meditation, talking to friends about it and finally, finding her path in life and become a certified Life Coach.
– I wanted to use all my emotional baggage to better understand me and my surroundings. To be a Life Coach, for me, is an approach to life itself; curiosity, openness, warm meetings and vulnerability.
But what does a Life Coach do exactly?
– A Life Coach will help you dig underneath the thoughts and feelings of “what if’s”, help you realize what’s important to you and explore those inner voices. Which one is the terrified and playing-it-safe inner-critic and which one is your bedazzling inner intuitive voice? As a coach, I help you clarify and sort it all out. During the coaching-session you are encouraged to find your own answers, your own truth. I have the questions, you have the answers. As a Life Coach, I act as an objective warm hearted friend, support, encourage and challenge you.
Sandra has always loved that spark in someone else’s eye when they realize something about themselves or their life that can help them overcome their fear and find their path.
– I have always wondered what people run from. We are in such a high pace all the time. Why? It’s like we need to finish a race, but the finish line is being moved forward all the time. We sweat and forget to recharge at the water station. One of my answers are that we are running from ourselves, our longings, our feelings.
As a Life Coach, I have the magical opportunity to meet people at the “water station” and help them recharge and/or change direction.
Sitting opposite to Sandra I sense a certain calm aura over her, but at the same time she feels playful and adventurous. She has that look in her eye!
– People often find me both humorous and deep. I truly believe that the most serious things could include laughter and the funniest things could include tears. In my company, you are very welcome to both cry and laugh, she says.
Having built up a client base both in Stockholm and other parts of the country, Sandra sees a recurring topic in her sessions.
– Many of my clients feel stuck, lost or scared of doing what they truly dream of doing. Some have high expectations on themselves and the people around them which causes a lot of disappointment and stress. Some are struggling to understand who they are or just how to be themselves. Some say they have low self-esteem. Some say they don’t know what they like to do anymore. And some clients are extremely happy and just keen on exploring themselves, she explains.
While I listen to her I nod my head, I can indeed relate to more than one of those topics. Which makes me wonder, how do we become happy?
– I believe that the way we today constantly strive for happiness and pursuing our dream is more a happiness trap than anything else. And I have been there myself, always seeking for that good feeling trying to erase the “bad feelings”, striving for that next goal that should fulfil my life.
– I’ve realized that it’s not about seeking happiness or achieving goals, it’s about finding a peaceful way of living. It’s about understanding that we are in constant change and so are our feelings. Happiness it’s not static – a goal does not last forever. I see it as highly important to understand that humans have all sorts of feelings and accept that. A life in joy is not a life without tears, fear or uncertainty – it’s the opposite, she explains.
Before we part ways, we hug goodbye. The last Sandra says to me before she leaves is:
– Maybe happiness is the same thing as self-acceptance, being in contact with the real you and not trying to change everything. Because there is nothing as beautiful as a person being in contact with themselves, without a facade and lots of filters.