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Honesty

Be Inspired

Time to skip the excuses

Excuses – words we use to justify ourselves. Sometimes it seems that there’s never a shortage of those.

I once read a quote that said: ”If you want something done you find time. If you don’t, you find an excuse”. I’ve been trying to implement this piece of wisdom into my life ever since.

It felt very liberating admitting to myself that sometimes things don’t get done simply because of my laziness, or simply because I don’t prioritise them. Being honest with myself instead of trying to find an excuse felt very satisfying.

I also started implementing this with people. If I caught myself coming up with excuses to justify myself I would stop. Finding excuses felt like such a normal thing to do for so long that it had become a habit and they came automatically. It felt like my brain was on autopilot-mode and I wasn’t in charge. But, once I started thinking about it and recognising the patterns in my behaviour, excuses seemed just wrong. It became clear that anytime I looked to justify my actions, or lack there of, I was trying to fool myself, and others instead of just admitting the truth.

Now, don’t get me wrong. There are many situations out of our control that can come in the way of us doing what needs to be done. Real excuses do exist. Sometimes traffic really is horrible. And everyone can have a hectic day when time seems to fly by before we get to cross everything of our to do lists. Those reasons are legit. When I say excuse I think more of this type – I didn’t wash my hair last night because I wanted to go to sleep early. In reality, I stayed late watching Netflix, so washing my hair wasn’t really a priority. It’s a silly example, but it paints the picture.

So, in the light of the New Year and everyone making their plans and resolutions, how about we all try to do this – more honesty and less excuses. I promise that you’ll feel great about it and others will respect you for it. We can all see through others’ excuses anyway as we’ve all been using them. So, this year let’s find a way and not an excuse!


By: Ivona Josipovic / Photo cred: Pinterest

Be Inspired Mind

An open letter to Self Doubt

Dear Self Doubt. We’ve been spending nearly 25 years side by side and together we’ve been through a lot. I’m grateful for all the times that you’ve been there for me and never left my side, but lately I’ve been feeling like it’s not working out between us anymore.

I don’t understand why you keep complaining when I’m telling you to shut up. All you ever talk about is how useless I am and how I’ll never succeed with anything in life. I used to believe you, but I’ve come to realise that the problem is not me – it’s you. If you weren’t there all the time with your negative, repetitive chatter, I’d already be bathing in success and self acceptance.

It’s time we face reality – we’ve grown apart. Our views on life have become extremely different.

I’ve decided to spend more time with Self Belief instead. Amongst many things, we’re planning adventures, art projects, chilling out and to continue the exploration of love and relationships.

I simply neither have the time, nor the desire to hang out with you anymore. I wish you all the best and hereby set you free. I understand we might bump into each other again, but in that case I’d like to keep it at a smalltalk level. I hope you take some time to think through your actions and your whole existence, now that you’ll have a lot more time for yourself.

Thank you for the time we had,
Amalia

An unexpected response

Alright, Amalia, I get it. It’s time for us both to be more clear about how we want our friendship to develop. I forgive you for trying to dump me and you don’t need to say thank you for me staying and saving your life.

I feel like I’ve been misunderstood by you. I’ve been trying to get your attention for years but you’ve simply pushed me away without listening to what I have to say. You have no idea how much work it’s taken me to get you to finally listen to me!

First of all: Please, stop calling me Self Doubt. I don’t know where you got that name from but my real name is Fear. Remember that time in Australia when you saw a deadly snake and ran away from it? Yeah that was me saving your life. Or that other time when we were hiking and you were standing way too close to a cliff? Yeah. You’re welcome.

I think you get it: It’s my job to keep you alive! I calculate risks and talk about them, and I’ll keep going until we both get old and grey, so deal with it.

Secondly: Self-acceptance is not about denying or ignoring parts of yourself that you don’t like. It’s about making friends with them. Also, everyone fears in life. It’s not like the people you find “successful” are completely fearless. (Whatever the heck “success” means to you anyway?) They’ve just managed to build a beautiful, trustful relationship with their own Fear.

You’ve been extremely boring lately – you haven’t done much that is new or exciting. As a result, I’ve had to calculate risks of things that normally wouldn’t be a threat. Don’t blame me for being repetitive! That’s just a result of your boringness.

I think it’s a great idea that you hang out with Self Belief. Finally! We might actually get some action going again!! Don’t mind me – I’ll stick around and make sure you’re both safe. Trust me, when there’s real danger facing us you’ll know I’m serious.

I’ll be here for you whenever you need my advice.

Love you,
Fear


By: Amalia Wahlström/Repost of original post at ohyeahbyamalia.com

Be Inspired Mind

Letter to myself

Dear myself, when everything you know crumbles, and falls apart. When you think this is the end, that you will not survive this because you just don’t know how, one thing will happen: you will survive.

Because whether you like it or not, whether you want to hear it or not (and trust me, I don’t) life will go on. You will put one foot in front of the other. Maybe you will stumble at first, but you will move forward. Even if it is at such a slow pace that it’s not visible to the naked eye. Because it’s not a choice. It does not matter how evolved we have convinced ourselves we were, we are animals and for thousands of years it has been fixed in our genes that we need to keep on going, find food, shelter and survive.

Don’t get me wrong. You won’t be happy. It will be tough and you will maybe even wonder what the point of all this is. I cannot believe I am quoting that movie but hear me out. In “Sex Tape” with Cameron Diaz and Jason Segel, Segel drives his kids to school and his young daughter in the back seat out of nowhere drops some pretty amazing insight: “Why do we keep having all these days and then going to bed at night and then having all these days and then going to bed at night?” Segel answers: “That’s sort of what life is” And her to respond: “But when will it end?” That is a pretty good sum up of how you feel right now. Which is crazy because three or four months back you felt you had your whole life figured out, a purpose, a goal, a raison d’être. You had your struggles, but everything was under control.

You like to think everything happens for a reason, but right now, you wonder what that reason might be!

Today you are not happy. But you put one foot in front of the other, and maybe you will take two steps back tonight when it gets dark and the aftershock of the heart quake that your life suffered will keep coming as you replay everything in your head and in your heart. But as sure as the sun will come up, you will too. And you will eventually find a purpose again, and maybe your hopes and dreams will be fulfilled. Or maybe you need new hopes and dreams, or maybe you just need to change your perspective.

There is only one way to find out: It’s to keep having all those days and going to bed at night.


By: Mo Oléron