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Overthinking

You’re lying in your bed and can’t fall asleep. You’re might thinking of an irrelevant conversation that you had during the day, about all the unhealthy food you ate or just about the meaning of life. Does this sound familiar?

We can all fall into the trap of our own thoughts, but if we can’t seem to get out of it we are talking about a phenomenon called ’overthinking’.

If we spend time analyzing everything – how we look, our relations with other people, what somebody told us, what we have told somebody and so on, we must become aware that we might be a bit off track.

You may wonder why overthinking is so negative? Here is why: when constantly questioning ourself, we eventually end up focusing on the negative aspects of our self image. Through such thinking we distance ourselves from our true feelings. Because of the excessive analytics we can easily forget about our authentic feelings and desires, which can lead to conflicts and anxiety.

Although overthinking can be seen as perfectionism, or just a harmless habit, it is not. When overthought, our life seems harder than it is, stressful situations become unbearable and we start to be unable to face new challenges.

To overcome this habit, we need time and patience. Whenever we notice that we are overthinking it is necessary to return to the present moment and focus on what we feel right then and there. This way we are able to come in contact with who we really are, not who we think we are. It is the contact with our true self, the part of us that feels and lives in the present, that brings us the feeling of peace and happiness.

Don’t forget, we will not be able to appreciate the magic of life as long as we are slaves of our own thoughts.


 By: Sonja Josipovic

Be Inspired

Give each moment a chance

We are all going to die. I repeat: no matter what, we are going to die. So why do we keep on living ignoring the elephant in the room? Spending so much time and energy caring about minor insignificant details? Shouldn’t THIS  (inevitable death) be our major concern? 

Ignorance is bliss they say. But I say if you have information you make more educated choices. This is not like hunching your back and looking down at your notebook in class hoping the math teacher will pick someone else to get up and resolve the equation. We will eventually all be called up. Wouldn’t it be better to feel “prepared” then?

One of my favorite singer once sang (roughly translated): “When the sun comes up and I am alive that is all that matters to me”. Grant you he is now a raging alcoholic, but let’s focus on the message here: What truly matters? What is really at stake? To live while we can.

Somehow we manage to ignore death for most of our life because it is “The Voldemort” of our story, “it who must not be named”. We call it something else to reassure us: passing, leaving this earth, departing… it’s like a freaking airport.

Monday, Friday, weekend, those are labels we put on spans of opportunities. Nine to five, happy hours, those are name we gave to slots of possibilities.

They all matter, they all have the same value, but somehow what we call them gives them more or less importance. Mondays are dreadful and Fridays are longed for. But anyone can see through the varnish, those are the exact same days, same amount of hours, same set up, same chances, it is only our mindset that differs, only what we chose to ignore and what we decide to acknowledge.

Things have to be fun, cool, awesome, exciting to matter and the time in between is often considered worthless. But remember, even a boring day at the office is a day you lived.


By: Mo Oléron 

Be Inspired

Fear is my friend

Something that’s constantly reoccurs in the modern spirituality is the concept of love and fear. That which isn’t love is fear. Love is the ultimate creation and our natural state. When we’re not thinking, feeling, acting and reacting in love, it’s because fear is present.

Fear of being separate. Fear of being unworthy. Fear of not being accepted. This fear makes us act in all kinds of unloving ways, towards each other and towards ourselves. I truly believe this. Even though it’s a simplification of the complexity of this human experience, it explains a lot of the crazy that is going on in our world today.

However, there’s another aspect of fear. Fear as a catalyst. When our aim becomes experiencing as little fear as possible we miss out on a lot of the good stuff in life. Because the good stuff often requires us to face that which scares us.

For me, it was scary to choose to take back the responsibility for my health and become the CEO of me. It was scary to choose to be more vulnerable and not hide in my relationships. It was scary to quit my corporate job to start out on my own. I needed to make a conscious choice to look fear in the eye and walk directly towards it. And, ultimately, facing fear has given me a healthy and vital body back, deep and meaningful relationships and an opportunity to create the career that fits my lifestyle and dreams.

Life thrives when we follow our intuition speaking through love while embracing fear.

What if we could befriend fear and invite it to play a part in our life without letting it play the main character? Because, fighting fear is a dead-end battle anyway. You can’t win that game. What you can do, however, is to greet fear when he shows up, tell him to take a seat, but not direct the show. Listen to him patiently, thank him for the advice, but make sure to follow your intuition, not your fear.

What if the presence of fear has been the ultimate catalyst to all that you love about your life today? What if you can become friends with your fear and start enjoying hanging out with him?


By: Helena Önneby. Helena is a life and career coach on a mission to help you find your Pure Personal Power. Download the free guide: 5 steps to finding your authentic power.

Be Inspired Mind

An open letter to Self Doubt

Dear Self Doubt. We’ve been spending nearly 25 years side by side and together we’ve been through a lot. I’m grateful for all the times that you’ve been there for me and never left my side, but lately I’ve been feeling like it’s not working out between us anymore.

I don’t understand why you keep complaining when I’m telling you to shut up. All you ever talk about is how useless I am and how I’ll never succeed with anything in life. I used to believe you, but I’ve come to realise that the problem is not me – it’s you. If you weren’t there all the time with your negative, repetitive chatter, I’d already be bathing in success and self acceptance.

It’s time we face reality – we’ve grown apart. Our views on life have become extremely different.

I’ve decided to spend more time with Self Belief instead. Amongst many things, we’re planning adventures, art projects, chilling out and to continue the exploration of love and relationships.

I simply neither have the time, nor the desire to hang out with you anymore. I wish you all the best and hereby set you free. I understand we might bump into each other again, but in that case I’d like to keep it at a smalltalk level. I hope you take some time to think through your actions and your whole existence, now that you’ll have a lot more time for yourself.

Thank you for the time we had,
Amalia

An unexpected response

Alright, Amalia, I get it. It’s time for us both to be more clear about how we want our friendship to develop. I forgive you for trying to dump me and you don’t need to say thank you for me staying and saving your life.

I feel like I’ve been misunderstood by you. I’ve been trying to get your attention for years but you’ve simply pushed me away without listening to what I have to say. You have no idea how much work it’s taken me to get you to finally listen to me!

First of all: Please, stop calling me Self Doubt. I don’t know where you got that name from but my real name is Fear. Remember that time in Australia when you saw a deadly snake and ran away from it? Yeah that was me saving your life. Or that other time when we were hiking and you were standing way too close to a cliff? Yeah. You’re welcome.

I think you get it: It’s my job to keep you alive! I calculate risks and talk about them, and I’ll keep going until we both get old and grey, so deal with it.

Secondly: Self-acceptance is not about denying or ignoring parts of yourself that you don’t like. It’s about making friends with them. Also, everyone fears in life. It’s not like the people you find “successful” are completely fearless. (Whatever the heck “success” means to you anyway?) They’ve just managed to build a beautiful, trustful relationship with their own Fear.

You’ve been extremely boring lately – you haven’t done much that is new or exciting. As a result, I’ve had to calculate risks of things that normally wouldn’t be a threat. Don’t blame me for being repetitive! That’s just a result of your boringness.

I think it’s a great idea that you hang out with Self Belief. Finally! We might actually get some action going again!! Don’t mind me – I’ll stick around and make sure you’re both safe. Trust me, when there’s real danger facing us you’ll know I’m serious.

I’ll be here for you whenever you need my advice.

Love you,
Fear


By: Amalia Wahlström/Repost of original post at ohyeahbyamalia.com

Be Inspired

The benefits of growing older

This weekend I realised that I was born to be wild, but only until 9pm or so.

Having left a party before 11, leaving both champagne and friends behind to go home and embrace my bed, I had a little freak out in the cab. I realised my birthday is around the corner and this will be my last year in my 20s. I could feel the anxiety hit me!

Turning 30 is something I am dreading, not because you´re so freaking old at 30, but then there is no way back. No excuses. You are, and will forever be, an adult. An actual adult. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t walk around acting or seeing myself as a child, but no more bad excuses to why you have spent half your salary on fun stuff, no more excuses to why you party a little too much, no more excuses to why you don’t have children, a house, a car, a husband. Dear lord, the pressure!

But having slept on it, I woke up this morning and realised, getting older is inevitable and there are actually some benefits to it.

Like wine, we only get better with time, right?

So, I hereby give you five reasons to look forward to getting older:

Broader perspective
The longer we live, the more experiences we gather and the wiser we get (at least that´s what I have been told). We learn and get a broader perspective on life and the world.

Stronger and more independent
I have always liked to call myself a strong, independent woman, and for each year I feel it gets more and more accurate. I grow more confident and stop worrying so much about what others think of me and just do my own thing. It is like the uncertainty slowly disappears with age.

Saying no
Saying no, without getting a bad conscience definitely gets easier. I dreadfully remember being a teenager, running around from one thing to another, terrified I would miss out on anything “important”. I guess the older you get, the wiser you become and learn that saying no from time to time is healthy.

You get more selective
The older we get, the more often we realise that there is no time for drama, bad friends or an unbearable relationship. I don’t know how often I have thought “I don’t have time for this, I am too old for this sh*t”. And it´s so liberating letting go of the crap and focus on the good things in life instead.

Socially accepted bedtime
There is nothing wrong with a 9pm bedtime guys! There are few things better and more important than a good night’s sleep and the older you get, the more socially accepted it is. Hallelujah!

So, that was it from 28-year-old me, looking forward to senior discounts and enjoying all of the above! My birthday can come now, I am ready to turn one year older!


By: Henriette Danielsen / Photo cred: letsmingleblog.com/

Be Inspired

How to overcome excessive worry?

We all worry and that is natural, because life puts ahead of us new challenges and tasks that we have to solve each day. By worrying we show that we care about our work, family, friends and ourselves.

Moderate concern is very useful, because it can protect us from the various inconvenience that we may face on a daily basis. If we are, for example, worried that we will be late for an important meeting, we can undertake a range of activities to prevent that from happening (we can get up and get ready earlier, leave home earlier in order to avoid traffic etc.) Excessive or chronic worry on the other hand is both physically exhausting and significantly affects the quality of our lives. If we worry to much, we encounter some of the following phenomena’s daily:

  • We imagine negative outcomes of different situations and we experience anxiety because of our own negative thoughts.
  • We worry often about things that we can’t change.
  • We are becoming more and more indecisive and we are making decisions more and more slowly, because we are constantly looking for an ideal solution to the situation.
  • Worry becomes a burdensome process that is difficult for us to control and which causes tension, anxiety, tiredness, concentrations and sleep problems.

So, how we can overcome excessive worry since it doesn’t bring us anything good?

I will give you some of my favorite tips that all of us can use when we feel that we have fallen into the trap of our own bad thoughts:

  • When we worry too much the capacity of our attention is limited and most of the time we focus on negative outcomes. Because of that, we aren’t able to notice the favorable opportunities provided to us. By systemically focusing our attention on positive things, we can reduce the time spent on worrying and see that life gives us a lot of good things.
  • We need to determine every day in advance the time and place when we worry. All bad thoughts, unnecessary analysis and fears that appear to us during the day we leave for ’the time when we worry’. This is a great technique, because this way we gradually gain control of our thoughts and become more and more focused on the present.
  • Life is unexpected and all of us have to accept that, even if this sounds a little scary. With excessive worry we can’t influence every aspect of our lives. Once we accept that we can’t control everything, our life will become so much easier.

Whenever you notice that you worry too much, try to apply these techniques in order to help yourself clear your head from negative thoughts. Your life is happening now and don’t miss it by worrying about the future or the past.


By: Sonja Josipovic / Photo cred: www.verywell.com

Be Inspired Mind

Embrace yourself wholeheartedly

Emotional baggage; we all got it and kind off hate it. Sandra Aggemo on the other hand sees it as a gift and embraces it wholeheartedly. Why? Because she believes that is what makes a person unique.
By: Henriette Danielsen

I met Sandra for the first-time years ago in a small town in Sweden where she was studying Business and Finance. When our paths crossed again a few years later in Stockholm, she had quit her job to pursue her dream of working as a fulltime Life Coach. This awoke my curiosity!

Her whole adult life Sandra has been running from the feeling of not being good enough, even though everyone around her always spoke so highly of her.
– People have always said that I should be happy and proud; “You are such a talent, you have this and that… You have good education, good job, friends”. I could hear them, but I really couldn’t feel what they told me to feel. It was like something was missing, she explains.

Nevertheless, she is thankful for this, because it led her into areas like KBT and ACT (cognitive- behavioral therapy); reading all kinds of books, meeting therapists, doing yoga and meditation, talking to friends about it and finally, finding her path in life and become a certified Life Coach.

– I wanted to use all my emotional baggage to better understand me and my surroundings. To be a Life Coach, for me, is an approach to life itself; curiosity, openness, warm meetings and vulnerability.

But what does a Life Coach do exactly?
– A Life Coach will help you dig underneath the thoughts and feelings of “what if’s”, help you realize what’s important to you and explore those inner voices. Which one is the terrified and playing-it-safe inner-critic and which one is your bedazzling inner intuitive voice? As a coach, I help you clarify and sort it all out. During the coaching-session you are encouraged to find your own answers, your own truth. I have the questions, you have the answers. As a Life Coach, I act as an objective warm hearted friend, support, encourage and challenge you.

Sandra has always loved that spark in someone else’s eye when they realize something about themselves or their life that can help them overcome their fear and find their path.
– I have always wondered what people run from. We are in such a high pace all the time. Why? It’s like we need to finish a race, but the finish line is being moved forward all the time. We sweat and forget to recharge at the water station. One of my answers are that we are running from ourselves, our longings, our feelings.

As a Life Coach, I have the magical opportunity to meet people at the “water station” and help them recharge and/or change direction.

Sitting opposite to Sandra I sense a certain calm aura over her, but at the same time she feels playful and adventurous. She has that look in her eye!
– People often find me both humorous and deep. I truly believe that the most serious things could include laughter and the funniest things could include tears. In my company, you are very welcome to both cry and laugh, she says.

Having built up a client base both in Stockholm and other parts of the country, Sandra sees a recurring topic in her sessions.
– Many of my clients feel stuck, lost or scared of doing what they truly dream of doing. Some have high expectations on themselves and the people around them which causes a lot of disappointment and stress. Some are struggling to understand who they are or just how to be themselves. Some say they have low self-esteem. Some say they don’t know what they like to do anymore. And some clients are extremely happy and just keen on exploring themselves, she explains.

While I listen to her I nod my head, I can indeed relate to more than one of those topics. Which makes me wonder, how do we become happy?
– I believe that the way we today constantly strive for happiness and pursuing our dream is more a happiness trap than anything else. And I have been there myself, always seeking for that good feeling trying to erase the “bad feelings”, striving for that next goal that should fulfil my life.

– I’ve realized that it’s not about seeking happiness or achieving goals, it’s about finding a peaceful way of living. It’s about understanding that we are in constant change and so are our feelings. Happiness it’s not static – a goal does not last forever. I see it as highly important to understand that humans have all sorts of feelings and accept that. A life in joy is not a life without tears, fear or uncertainty – it’s the opposite, she explains.

Before we part ways, we hug goodbye. The last Sandra says to me before she leaves is:
– Maybe happiness is the same thing as self-acceptance, being in contact with the real you and not trying to change everything. Because there is nothing as beautiful as a person being in contact with themselves, without a facade and lots of filters.


Name: Sandra Aggemo
Age: 28
Lives: Enskede, Sweden
One thing that makes me smile: People dancing – being captured in the power of now and the music.

If you want to learn more about Sandra Aggemo and her services you can check out her website and follow her Instagram account.

Be Inspired Mind

Letter to myself

Dear myself, when everything you know crumbles, and falls apart. When you think this is the end, that you will not survive this because you just don’t know how, one thing will happen: you will survive.

Because whether you like it or not, whether you want to hear it or not (and trust me, I don’t) life will go on. You will put one foot in front of the other. Maybe you will stumble at first, but you will move forward. Even if it is at such a slow pace that it’s not visible to the naked eye. Because it’s not a choice. It does not matter how evolved we have convinced ourselves we were, we are animals and for thousands of years it has been fixed in our genes that we need to keep on going, find food, shelter and survive.

Don’t get me wrong. You won’t be happy. It will be tough and you will maybe even wonder what the point of all this is. I cannot believe I am quoting that movie but hear me out. In “Sex Tape” with Cameron Diaz and Jason Segel, Segel drives his kids to school and his young daughter in the back seat out of nowhere drops some pretty amazing insight: “Why do we keep having all these days and then going to bed at night and then having all these days and then going to bed at night?” Segel answers: “That’s sort of what life is” And her to respond: “But when will it end?” That is a pretty good sum up of how you feel right now. Which is crazy because three or four months back you felt you had your whole life figured out, a purpose, a goal, a raison d’être. You had your struggles, but everything was under control.

You like to think everything happens for a reason, but right now, you wonder what that reason might be!

Today you are not happy. But you put one foot in front of the other, and maybe you will take two steps back tonight when it gets dark and the aftershock of the heart quake that your life suffered will keep coming as you replay everything in your head and in your heart. But as sure as the sun will come up, you will too. And you will eventually find a purpose again, and maybe your hopes and dreams will be fulfilled. Or maybe you need new hopes and dreams, or maybe you just need to change your perspective.

There is only one way to find out: It’s to keep having all those days and going to bed at night.


By: Mo Oléron

Be Inspired

Failure is a bruise, not a tattoo

I remember very well the first time I failed at something I considered important in life. I thought that the whole world would end and that I would never feel good about myself again.

Needless to say, I was very young and inexperienced. If I knew back then that failure is an integral part of life, I could have spared some tears and sleepless nights. But, I needed to fail a couple of times again before that lesson was learned.

Now that I am older (and I hope a bit wiser), I understand that everyone fails. Failure is not something that only happens to “losers”. It happens to the best of us, no exceptions. What makes the biggest impact is how you handle it.

 Don’t let failure define you.

 Look at it like a bruise. It hurts and it may not look that well, but it will pass. Don’t be a victim, but use your failures as opportunities. We learn all our lessons from hard times, and failures can certainly teach us a lot. Take your time to heal, learn what you can from your experience, dust yourself off and get up again.

You will lose some small battles in life, and you will lose some big ones. Life is made of ups and downs so just know that it won’t be that bad forever. Try to focus on the positive and don’t be too hard on yourself. Remember, everyone fails at something, and the only thing that separates fulfilled people from the unfulfilled ones is how they handle it.

So, failures will come and go, but just remember this – you may lose a battle, but as long as you don’t give up, you can still win the war.


By: Ivona Iwarra Josipovic 

Be Inspired

One of those days

Maybe you had a fight with your partner, missed a deadline, locked yourself out of the apartment or maybe you had a to-do list longer than the queue to the ladies’ room at a summer festival. Or maybe it was all the above. Some days are just “scream into a pillow” kind of day.

It´s impossible to explain why, but some days, no matter what you do, things seem to go wrong. The frustrations grows and tears start building up and sometimes you cry in anger, while this overwhelming feeling that the universe is plotting against you consumes you.

Not to worry, we all go through it occasionally. Some of us a tad more gracefully than others maybe, but nevertheless, we feel ya! I may have screamed into a pillow the other day. That day I just wanted to beg whoever is in charge to give me a second shot at it. But it doesn’t work like that. So I screamed, I cursed and made fists, I over dramatised and felt sorry for myself.

But then I calmed down, because what´s there to do?

I like to say everything happens for a reason, and to be honest I´m still searching for the reason for that day. But in the end, it doesn’t matter. What matters is what I do with the time I have left.

So, after my little nervous breakdown I reassessed, took a deep breath, ate some ice cream and embraced the rest of the day. Hang in there, it will get better for you too <3


By: Morgane Oléron /Photo cred: Pinterest