Browsing Tag

Awareness

Be Inspired

Those five little words

“I am happy for you”. The art of rejoicing in someone else’s success and happiness is easier said than done.

It´s easy to feel happy for someone when you find yourself in a good state of mind. It´s also a piece of cake to clap for someone’s success when they accomplished something within a field that is not the same as yours. But cheering for someone who achieved something you wish you had, that is the real challenge.

I grabbed a coffee with an old friend last time I was in Paris and we cheered for her recent success of getting into the best school in the country. I found myself being genuinely proud and happy for her. I recognised her hard work and dedication and felt it was more than deserved. Not an ounce of jealousy or frustration in sight. We shared a lovely moment rejoicing in her little happiness cloud and as we said goodbye I felt I took a little piece of that cloud with me. I had a smile on my face, thinking how lovely it is to see hard work being rewarded and feeling at that very moment that everything was how it should be.

But what if I had been depressed that day? What if I had tried and failed at the same exam? That would have been a very different story. I would probably have received her happiness as an aggression. Seeing it as reflexion of my own failure. I know this because it has happened before. But I also know it is not justified.

Others’ successes or failures are in no way related or proportional to yours.

You are responsible of your actions and life and they are of theirs. It makes absolutely no sense to feel better to see your friends fail where you also failed. On the contrary. To progress and grow you need to surround yourself with people who will challenge you, push you forward, not drag you down.

Again, easier said than done. We know all that, and it looks great on paper, but controlling your feelings is something that demands practice, dedication and awareness, knowing yourself and more importantly being very honest with yourself, admitting and recognising your feelings to then be able to act on them.

Definitely something worth working on though, for ourselves and our entourage, because happiness is contagious. Catch it. Spread it.


By: Mo Oléron 

Be Inspired

The art of living in the present

How many percent of your mind space are you spending on the past? How much time is spent trying to look into, or plan for, the future? How often are you fully engaged in the present? 

When I did this exercise for myself, by observing my thoughts a bit more diligently, I realised that I spend far too much time in the future and not enough in the right now. It’s was a sad realisation but I know I’m not alone in this.

When I’ve finished my workday, and gotten the kids to bed, then I will relax. When we’ve finally checked in to that hotel on our vacation, then we’ll be happy. When I’ve finished my studies, and gotten my first real job, then I will start enjoying life. When I have that partner that truly gets me, then I’ll feel satisfied.

But we all know this; there is no there there.

As soon as we get there we’ll surely find something else to strive for, something in the distant future to long for that keeps us from living in the moment.

So, how do we do it? Move the there to here? Well, I practice being in the presence by noticing the small details in my every day; the taste of the coffee, the way my body feels when it moves, that smile from someone I care for. I also practice gratitude daily. By focusing on the things I appreciate in my life today I help myself staying present with whatever is, without wishing it were different or that I was somewhere else.

Awareness is a skill that we can improve. Meditation helps immensely in getting better at observing what is and noticing our thoughts and feelings so that we can make conscious choices of where we want them to go.

Tomorrow is granted to no one, so how would you live bearing that in mind? What can you do today to feel fully alive? How can you engage more in your current life, feeling the way you want to feel, today? When you do this, you’ll act in ways that will attract what you want also in the future. But that’s not the end goal, the end goal is not in the end at all, it’s in the now.


By: Helena Önneby.  Download the free guide: 5 steps to finding your authentic power.